Happy good Friday...

Well today I have off and I plan to get some cleaning done in my room and then I'm going bowling with a friend. My kids are doing really well, and I am taking each day as it comes to me. I am so amazed in how my life has changed in the past year, yet alone that past 3 months while living up here in Tennessee. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to make a great future for me and my children. Have Blessed weekend.

Facing a Broken heart...

Well today is a hard day for me, and I can only imagine of how it will be for my husband when he get's the news. I've come from such a destructive past, and it was the old life I led. I've come to realize that I need to start over completely and by that I mean I am divorcing my husband. I hurt so bad cause I know I'm going to break his heart, but were just not meant for each other. We both also have a long past that follows us and we don't need each other to drag down. I've never felt such a pain as I feel inside right now, and I even doubt myself to which this is the right thing to do. I've prayed and I've been going over the best I can to do the right thing. I don't know what to do??? I also don't think I can handle the fact of breaking someones heart especially the person I love the most, but I have to do what is best for me and my children in our future. Is there anyone in this world who can help to understand this? I wrote my husband the letter but I can't get the nerve to send it to him cause I love him so much and I don't want to leave him. It's just the best thing for us to do. I pray to God that I am making the best choice for my life. I have to believe that what is in Gods Will is going to be for me and my family. God bless...

The kids loved their easter stuff...

I sent my kids some Easter candy and I bought a card where I can record my voice. So I sent them both a sweet message and and filled a box with lots of goodies. I talked to them lastnight and they both told me how happy they were to get their stuff. I had a great day today, and I plan to relax tonight and write my husband. I can't wait until may 18th when I fly down to Florida. I will have a day to spend with my babies. Have a great night, and God Bless...

Rough Day...

Well today was quite the day, it seemed that everything I did went wrong. I really don't sleep much and I have my days where I get 3 hours sleep, and then some where I'll get 5 hours sleep. I tried to shake it off, but I just had a rough day today. My heart feels as if it's in a better place though. I spent some time in the word lastnight, and poured my heart out to the Lord. Now I must be patient and wait for his guidance. I hope everyone has had a good day today, and an even better one tomorrow. God bless...

I'm struggling with God...

I don't know what to do about things in my life and I find myself turning away from God, and rebelling. I know the right things to do, but my heart is so lonely that I want to reach out and find someone to need me as I feel the want to be needed in life. I think it's the presence of the ones I love I need the most and can't have, I feel lost without my children and husband. I somehow live the motions of life yet my heart feels broken, and I just refuse to turn to God for that Love and guidance. I want what is best for me and my family, but how can I ever do that if I can't find what is right in me. Is there anyone out there who can give me some advise on what to do. I fill my time with work, and running, and blogging, yet I still feel emptiness.What do I do and how do I find comfort in the Lord again?

Working hard...

Well I had a long week of work, and I feel really good about myself and my job. I got up this morning and ran a mile with Jen to Starbucks! I didn't know I could run that far without passing out.I'm really struggling with thought's on my marriage right now cause I feel distant from my husband, and I don't know what to do.I pray that God will guide me to make the best choice for my future of my husband, sobriety and my children.I love my husband so much and want to spend the rest of my life with him, but something inside of me is bothered and I don't know what it is.I really need someone to talk to about this but I don't know how to communicate my pain to anyone. Things in my life are going really great and I plan to just keep pushing forward and move over this emotional hump I'm on.Please pray that the Lord will lead me down the right path, he hasn't failed me so far.Have a great week everyone.

I got the Job!!!!!

I was hired yesterday, and I started today. I really liked it and I must say it's been a long time since I've worked. I am just so grateful that the Lord has blessed me with this job. Now this week my goal is to sign up for online classes to get my AA degree. Well the kids are doing really good, and I sent them their Easter candy and a card that I recorded a message to them. Have a blessed week...