Coping with reality...

Well I got home lastnight and was able to relax and allow the reality of things to hit me. It sure did, but I am afraid that it hasn't hit all the way yet. I am so scared of what is to come, and I just want to keep fighting and lastnight I felt myself beginning to just fall. I can feel the pain that this is causing everyone. Please go to the blog ( A day in the life ) in my favorite blogs. That is my mom's blog and I can just feel her pain. I am so afraid of what this will do to my children if I'm meant to serve these 15 years. It's Gods will and I will accept that, but I just wish for it to be a blessing to the ones I love and not a heart breaker. Today Jen and Andon kept my mind really busy and we had a great day at the pool and I we went out to lunch as well. I go back to work tomorrow, and I am ready to get my mind busy on work and not dwelling on this I'm going through. I will have a relaxing weekend and come Tuesday I will begin with Jen, and Jared on getting things together for the Florida State Legislature for my appeals. I pray that oneday I will be a walking testimony to others, and to bring joy into peoples hearts.