How do I act?

Do I push on, and act like I'm okay, or do I allow my feelings to release. I feel so much hurt, and anger inside me and I want to just let it out. I can't go through every day and put on a smile like I'm fine when inside all I feel is pain, and suffering. I laugh so much to make the pain gone, and for those moments I'm laughing I feel free. I think that's why I laugh so much during the day, so I won't ball up in a dark corner and just cry. I need help with my emotions because I feel like I'm going to break soon, and I lose everything I've worked so hard for. Well actually not to be negative, but I feel that it got me no where in some ways because look I still got a 15 year sentence, and if I don't get this Clemency I go to prison and won't get out for 15 years yes, no gain time no credit time served, 15 years. I will have lost my life of my children for real then. Yes, I know I sound negative, but I am hurting, and I don't know what to do. I need a friend, and I feel like I have no one...